breaking free.

the past weeks have been exceptionally different for reasons i find weird but nonetheless, im trying to use my words to explain them.

wanie is not a risk-taker, always after SECURITY and ASSURANCES. she looks after her savings as if she's going to build a house in 3 months time, in short, kuripot. she plans ahead, including where she should be and what she should achieve for the next 5 years. she believes that she deserves to suffer if one of her plans isn't fulfilled.

but after she didnt had it all, a change suprisingly came.

this is the part where i say phrases such as, "im happy", "go with the flow" and "come what may", because seriously, those are the thoughts i have in mind now.
i spend my hard-earned peso when i want to in little things that make my day... a cheap wallet, a notebook, a cute pen. i devote time outside of work hours in designing websites and learning HTML codes and scripts then spend break times bonding with the boy-who-lived both in reading and watching him which is affecting my eyesight in a not-so-good way. i walk from office to MRT in edsa enjoying the things i notice around, the people walking, the ads in walkways, greenbelt, landmark, glorietta and SM makati. then when i get to the train, i complain about the people pushing as if its a life and death situation and when i get off it, i laugh my heart out, because tomorrow, il have to take that same train again. i've temporarily set aside my 5 year career plan which includes stepping up through going to school or getting another job.

and i've never enjoyed life, this much. i've realized the effects of not being too-hard on myself. in the past 21 years of my life, i've never let a single day go without competing with myself.

to add more delight in this stage of my life, i credit two great performers and influences of my life:

1. lea salonga. i havent bought the new album yet,
2. sitti. her new album, my bossa nova completes my day. good enough, she sets my brain in the mood for work. thanks to sitti, i've become a bit more productive lately.


janie wanie is breaking free.

it's worth the try.