BLIP with me


that feeling of being a part of "something"

I have always told a good friend, Trina Federis, that at some points in my life, I want to be like her. A person who is "mulat" to the sad realities of the society and who's convicted to something and knows how to fight for that thing she believes in. I lack her courage and I lack her wisdom in such things. There were people who makes jokes out of her participation in such movements and when I at times, belong to that group of people, I feel ashamed because at the end of the day, the street is the one place I want to be at.

I'd want to learn more about our history, how our country from having the best growing economies in Asia has befallen to corruption and to dirty politics. I want to find how from having noble statesmen (the likes of Ninoy Aquino, Jovito Salonga, etc.), my generation has to choose between the evil and the lesser evil. But I am not quite sure if that's even the point or that's the direction I want to head to. The question I need to answer for myself is what to do after answers to those questions come.

I am not sure who falls under the category of "middle class" and "masses" though I pretty well know who the "elitists" of this country are. I am not convinced as well that though the masses comprise the larger number of voters in the country, it is the elite who decides who gets to serve (?) the people.

Trina believed that the problem is that "hindi pantay-pantay ang mga tao sa Pilipinas", which meant may mayaman, may mahirap, the rich are powerful while the poor are powerless. Only the rich has accessed to government services and the poor don't have. The mainstream media provides information only the elite will benefit from, and quoting Trina's words, "Anong mapapala ng mga ordinaryong tao dyan?". And when once I told her that all of us are rich, I was ashamed when she answered me, "Oo, yung iba mayaman sa pang-aabuso".

With the scandals that continuously haunt the Arroyo administration, most popular of which is the current ZTE-NBN saga, my conscience asks me to at least, do something and be convicted. I am certain of my conviction to our country, how to fight for it is still in the works, in my mind.

A few weeks from now, two to be exact, I will be working as a Journalist (I don't say I will be a Journalist, because that thought overwhelms and scares me so) and that I'd like to use that as my means of being a part of this "something". Yes, as a part of the media, I am not allowed to take a stand (at least publicly and in my reports), and should report a story in all points of view. But first and foremost, I am a citizen whose obligation to her motherland should be upheld at all times, most of all, when she needs it the most, when she has fallen to the pit of evil. I hope I can fulfill that noble role of being the "watchdog" and I hope that could be accepted as my contribution to that "something".

Now seriously, I am not yet sure of what I am trying to convey.

Tomorrow, there'll be an interfaith rally happening just outside my office or at least a few blocks away from it. I want to be there, I'd always wanted to be at the street to fight against the tyrants of the country. The tyrant whom once replaced a tyrant.

But will I be courageous enough?

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